While I think all students of child development can relate to a lot of the information in the book we're reading, you'll see that the author of our latest entry can REALLY relate to the information presented in chapter 1. Sarah wrote this, and I think you'll appreciate how close she is to the subject!
I read the introduction to the first chapter, about Felicia and her many choices while pregnant. I had to put the book down and start writing this blog. That little portion of text was enough for me to begin reflecting.
Felicia was six months pregnant when she faced the great sea of childhood products. I am currently three months pregnant, and have seen and felt exactly what Felicia has seen and felt. When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled! I looked online at the developmental progress of my baby. It was great to know my baby had webbed fingers in one week and ears on the side of the head in another. Next, I began looking at birthing methods. I researched natural home births, water births, C-sections, and more. So far, all of this information was not too intimidating. It wasn’t until I began to set up my baby registry at Babies R’ Us that the fear Felicia felt ran through me as well.
Felicia’s story reminded me of my own. I also went to a baby store with friends who had recently had children. They named off all of the products that worked best for them. Each mom loved the one special product, while the other mom hated that same product! I began to feel frustration and anxiety. All I want is for my baby to be born, live healthy and happy, and for me to be able to be a parent, as I know how. As I walked down each aisle, I would get more and more of a headache, comparing the language cd’s to the womb music, and the nursing pillows to the breast pumps.
Soon, I realized I needed to trust many of my own instincts when shopping for my baby. I don’t need the womb music. I don’t need the language cd’s. I especially don’t need the infant flash cards. Better yet, my baby doesn’t need the womb music, or the language cd’s, or the flash cards! Having put these thoughts down on paper, I returned to the book, and continued to read the chapter.
I finished the chapter, which prompted me to think about how my husband and I want to raise our child. This first chapter spoke about the loss of childhood in today’s culture. They mentioned children used to be seen as adults, then were seen as children again, and are once again seen as being in adulthood while in infancy. I found it easy to want to agree with every convincing word from the authors Hirsch-Pasek and Golinkoff. My husband and I took a moment to reflect upon the authors' statements and the implications of this chapter on our own beliefs about parenting.
We considered the replacement of childhood with adulthood, but found that this arrangement placed too many unrealistic and harmful demands on our child and family. We also considered the absence of adulthood from childhood, but came to the conclusion that it could lead to a lack of responsibility, selflessness, and perpetual childhood. This latter stance seemed to be the suggestion of the authors.
My husband and I agreed that we wanted to raise our children with a balance. We value play just as much as the authors do. We know our child and our family needs quality and quantity time together. We also value responsibility and a good transition from childhood to adulthood. We realize that while play is important, perpetual childhood (called adolescence) is not appropriate. Our goal is to help each other raise a child who can learn and imagine through play, but take responsibilities and also learn to become an adult.
I believe my family's values and instincts are correct, that flash cards and busy-ness do not create intelligence, nor do they create adults. Love, time, play, responsibility, and discipline help create intelligent adults. I hope my husband and I can constantly reflect on our values about parenting and do not get caught up in the hustle-bustle of “Keeping up with the Jones’” children.
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