Navigating to be a Good Parent and Raise a Smart, Well-rounded Child

Honestly, I can't believe that this is our LAST chapter entry! Celia has done the honors, and has written some insightful self-reflections on chapter. I think you'll appreciate how carefully she thinks about her responsibilities as a parent; I believe her experiences are at the very heart of the reasons this book was written. Enjoy!

When I knew that I had to read and write for this chapter, I felt tired and didn’t want to do it. As everyone knows, I am a mom to a 13 month old baby girl. As a child development major, I feel pressured to raise my child the right way. It has been overwhelming to try and find a way to accomplish my goal. When I would go to the stores and stroll by the toy section, looking for an educational toy would give me a headache. Now that Christmas is coming, that headache has doubled. This assignment was tedious, but for many reasons, I am glad that I did it. I feel much more relaxed about raising my daughter knowing that if I play peek-a-boo with her, sing, read or even pretend play, I will be teaching her many things that a toy cannot.

As a student and a working mother it is hard to have a lot of time to “hang out” with my child. I see why parents buy games/videos to entertain their kids. About a month ago I felt pressured to follow that road. My sister came to pick up my daughter with my nephews and mom. When they were all situated and ready to go, my nephews popped out their Nintendo DS’s; my daughter, not knowing what they were, looked at the games in awe. My sister said, “Look, she wants one too. I am going to get one for her for Christmas.” Considering my daughter had just turned a year old, my sister’s comment made me panic. I don’t want a child who plays video games more than anything. The idea I have for my child is for her to be happy, play outside and to learn as much as possible in a fun way. I knew that if I allowed or went along with my sister’s idea, I would be giving up my child’s independence. So like the Einstein book says, I reflected, resisted and re-centered. I thought about my daughter and how that would influence her. I realized that I didn’t want her to be modernized and “know” technology at an early age; by resisting and saying no, I would have made Nancy Regan proud. I explained my reasoning and told my sister that books or a doll would be much better. I will say it was hard because as a parent you do want to give your child what you didn’t have and what they “need” to succeed in today’s technological fast-track world. No, instead of a Nintendo DS, my daughter will play with her dolls (Elmo, Bell) and learn at the same time. Most importantly, I will help her, and instead of showing a picture of a tree or a squirrel, I will walk with her at school, a park or outside our house and talk about what we see, even though people have and will look at me weirdly. My daughter may not have a DS but she will be happy with her surroundings, using her imagination and playing just like I did.

PLAY…..So Simple but So Misunderstood, It Can’t Be That Important Right?

Our third and final entry for chapter 9 was written by Morgan. She shares some great insight into the importance of play, so enjoy!

“Play is to early childhood what gas is to a car.” This is a quote from Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff and it is a great example of just how important play is for children. Cars need gas to run and children need play for development. The term “play” is widely used across the globe, but what is it exactly? When asked to define the term play, how would you explain the concept? What would you say? I mean think about it, it should be a simple term to define right? Well, in reality, trying to define the term “play” is actually quite difficult because there are so many different opinions as to what play is or what it consists of. I love this chapter because the authors provide a clear and better understanding of what play is, how it influences cognitive and social development, the benefits of play, and how parents and/or caregivers can promote and influence development by interacting with their children during play.

According to researchers, there are five elements that define play, which I found very interesting. In order for play to actually be considered “play,” the activity should be found pleasurable and enjoyable, it should be spontaneous and voluntary, it must be make-believe oriented, and it should not have any extrinsic goals or no real functions (p. 210-211). This definition that is provided by the text is really the one that should be placed in dictionaries around the world because these elements could not better describe how play should be. The authors believe that children should not be forced to participate in activities that they have no desire to be a part of, and parents, caregivers, and even teachers should allow children to choose what they want to play with and how they want to play. I completely agree with this concept! There is nothing worse than being forced to participate in something that you have absolutely no desire for, especially when the activity is supposed to be fun but is quite the opposite. For example, I remember having to participate in certain so-called “play” activities in elementary school that I would almost consider torturous because they were absolutely boring; they weren’t creative activities in any way, and there was a always a right or wrong way to do something. I also remember that during recess time, we would get into trouble for making up certain games or get in trouble for using play equipment “inappropriately.” This is not considered play! Play should not have any specific outcome or meaning, it should derive from choice and free-will, and most of all, it should be fun and open-minded; play should be creative and free!

“The level of children’s play rises when adults play with them” (p.208) and play is also an excellent way for children to better develop their cognitive and social skills. Adults, especially parents and teachers, have an enormous amount of influence on how a child learns through play, and the interaction of adults with children stimulates more brain activity and mental development. Cognitively, the activity of play helps children to develop better attention spans, problem solving skills, inner speech, mathematical skills, and creativity. On the other hand, socially, play helps children develop the skills needed to interact with one another, communicate verbally and symbolically with one another, and work together as a team. Socially, play also really assists in children’s language development and vocabulary. I remember when I was growing up that my parents always interacted with me and my siblings during different play activities, and I feel that this definitely helped my social and cognitive development as well the development of my siblings. All four of us have gone to school and have done great things; we are very well-rounded people and we certainly have creative minds. We were never told how to play or what to play with by my parents; we would just find whatever we could get our hands on and amuse ourselves the best we could. My dad introduced me to art and drawing when I was very little, and to this day, one of my favorite activities of “play” is drawing and painting pictures. I feel that art as play is great because it really affects abstract thinking, problem solving skills, self-regulation, and I also feel that it helps us deal with our emotions.

When it came to sports as play activity, my parents were extremely involved and enthusiastic, which helped to engage my interest and love for sports. Being physically active for play, through sports for example, is also wonderful for children if they are interested. For me personally, sports were and still are excellent forms of play, but I think that my parents’ interest and enjoyment of watching really influenced my passion for the game. I have never actually thought about different forms of play that I have or still engage in due to the influence of my parents, until after I read this chapter. It totally makes sense that if adults, especially parents, interact during play with their children it can have a huge impact on how the children view play and participate in playful activities.
Reading this chapter really opened my eyes to what play should really consist of. I better understand how important “free play” really is for the development of children both cognitively and socially. I have always felt that free play was crucial in the lives of children, but I did not know just how much it can affect our behavior, ways of thinking, our social interaction with others, and our way of life in general. In today’s society free play or creative activity are not focused upon in our schools and are almost considered a waste of time. In reality, play is so crucial for child development that I hope the education system will eventually change their views on the subject and allow for more free play time and creative activity in the classroom without having teacher-structured or organized activities.

Child’s Play

Our second entry on chapter 9 was written by Caitlin. It sounds like she can hold her own in a game of Charades, so competitors, beware! Happy reading!

Throughout this chapter, the authors discuss just how essential play is to the learning process. One of the best ways for children to learn is through play. Some of the concepts children acquire by playing are not things that can be easily replicated in a classroom. Problem solving is one of those main concepts, as well as creativity. When kids play they sometimes face problems that they have to figure out on their own. By doing this they gain problem solving skills. Children can also gain motor skill development and language ability through play. Also, if children play together they can learn from one another. Parents can also help their kids play. One of the best things a parent can do is play with their child. However, this chapter suggests that parents follow their child’s lead in play, and not control it. It’s important that the child’s play goes wherever their imagination takes them.

After reading this chapter it made me reflect on my own childhood. As a child, during the summer I was always playing with my sisters. Whether we were riding our bikes around the neighborhood, or outside pretending to be Pocahontas, we were always playing. The most common type of play that we participated in was pretend play. We were always using our imaginations to come up with different scenarios. Between the three of us we were never bored. We always had something to do and someone to play with. Some of my most favorite memories from my childhood are of my sisters and me playing in our backyard. I am incredibly thankful that my parents always encouraged us to play.

Unfortunately, there are some parents who are so concerned with academics that they don’t let their child play. Everything about the child’s life is scheduled for them. Even though academics are important, they should not consume a child’s life. This saddens me because that child doesn’t get to experience the benefits of play. Not only can play be fun, but it lets the child experience things that wouldn’t happen normally in their everyday life. Children are in complete control of their play. It’s the one part of their lives where they make all the decisions. Children have the most amazing imaginations and they should be allowed to explore them.

In today’s world, I think it is harder for kids to just be able to play. There is so much technology around that some kids would rather just sit in front of the TV then go outside and play. Although watching TV and playing video games is fun, I think parents should limit the amount of time children spend doing these things. In my opinion for every hour a child spends doing these things they should spend an hour playing freely. Free play is important for kids to develop their imagination and creativity. It’s also important because it keeps them active and healthy.

In conclusion, play is irreplaceable. Kids need play as much as adults need free time. If kids don’t get the opportunity to play, then they are missing out on gaining important skills. No child should ever be deprived of play. Also there is no such thing as too much play. Children should be happy and healthy, and in order to be those things they need to have playtime in their lives.

Exploring through Play

Believe it or not, we are already into chapter 9 - and there are only 10 chapters in this book! Jackie has written the first of three entries on this latest chapter. Be sure to savor your enjoyment of reading her entry, as we'll be done soon. Happy reading!

Some of the most precious and cherished moments for many individuals in society begin during our childhood play years. Childhood memories are events that involve some kind of “play” that involves interacting with a favorite toy, other children in the community or simply playing alone. The different types of play positively impact our lives and become part of our human development. Whether we realize it or not, “free play” is very important for children throughout their childhood. Childhood play brings happiness and a great learning experience for children across our society.

As I read Chapter 9 “The Crucible of Learning,” I realized how important play is in a child’s development. My earliest childhood memory was playing with my neighborhood friends, cousins and siblings at a nearby park. Our parents allowed us to go off to play at the park as long as we were back before dark. My friends and I used to play many different games; we played on the playground and in the sand box, pretending we were in different parts of the world. During “free play” we were able to use our imaginations and explore our surroundings. I had the freedom and time to do a lot of free play, unlike Alyson, a 4 year old little girl mentioned in Chapter 9, who didn’t have much free play in her busy schedule. Alyson’s parents bombarded her with many “enrichment’ activities. Alyson’s mom makes dad and Alyson follow the schedule on the calendar that is posted on the refrigerator, making sure Alyson never misses an activity or event. The dad, on the other hand, is much more lenient, and he finds time to relax and catch up on his work while Alyson plays on her own. Allowing Alyson to play on her own promotes her creativity through her play with toys and using her creative imagination. Mom calls Alyson’s free play a waste of time. Little does she know that Alyson is actually using this free time to play, release stress, and take a break from her hectic schedule. In analyzing this scenario, it seems like Alyson has too many responsibilities and not enough free time for a 4 year old.

There are many parents such as Marianne who believe that if children are exposed to different enrichment activities such as sports, music lessons and dance lessons, they will benefit by having an advantage in academics, sports and entertainment careers as they grow older. However, busy schedules can block the child’s learning process. Many parents are oblivious to the benefits of free play, such as promoting creativity and problem solving. Parents think that playing is a waste of time and that children do not benefit from free play. There have been many studies that confirm that child’s play teaches different skills and it expands one’s imagination. “Play promotes problem solving, creativity. It also helps to build better attention spans and encourages social development as well as pretend play and self control” (p. 206). One of the benefits of child’s play is “pretend play” which leads to symbolic play; children learn how to use one object to represent another. Children often use different toys and pretend they are something else; for example, they might use a sand shovel as a telephone. Oftentimes, children use sand, sticks and rocks to represent various forms of food and cooking utensils. Symbolic play helps children use their imagination and think abstractly. Symbolic play helps children think outside the box and how to problem solve. Playing with objects and being exposed to concrete experiences promotes mathematical thinking.

As a Child Development major and a student assistant at the preschool, I agree with the author on how important play is for children. Children need the freedom to choose when they want to play and what they want to play with. For example, I love the philosophy and mission at our preschool here at Fresno State. We believe in promoting the safety of the children and child’s play with the child’s best interests at heart. Not only do we give them the freedom to engage in free play, but we also encourage other educational activities as well. At the preschool, we allow the children to make their own choices when it comes to free play and various activities. We also have group time where we read to the children and sing songs. After group time, we inform the children of different options they have and dismiss them to go play. For instance, we show them the designated play areas around the room that are open, such as the manipulative area, block area, dramatic area and the art area. The children are free to go to any station and use their imagination and creativity. When the teachers are engaged with the children during play activities, the children become really excited and find new ways to communicate with us. The children love to talk, engage in conversations and tell stories while they play. When children interact with their peers and teachers through play, they are exposed to language and self control. They pick up language faster and at the same time learn how to take on different roles and express their feelings. Child play has to come from the desire and interest of the children. We cannot force them to play and expect them to enjoy it. Many parents force their children to play sports which can create pressure, resulting in a loss of interest in any particular sport. The sport becomes a chore instead of a fun pastime.

As parents and teachers, we must provide choices and let our children choose what they want to do. In doing so, this will provide both a fun time and a great learning experience. As adults we have the choice to “facilitate” play time or engage in their playing. Parents should be able to balance both free play and enrichment activities. Both the parents and children can benefit from free play and enrichment activities. Like the author stated, play equals learning. Children are little explorers in their environment; through exploring and playing the process of learning occurs. Play gives children the advantage to process thinking and act on it.

The Meaning of Social Intelligence

This is Santiago and Mely, the nephews of Susana, the author of our second and final entry on chapter 8. Pretty fitting, I'd say, given that she is going to talk about the importance of socialization! Enjoy!

In the beginning of the chapter, the authors talk about how parents are frustrated about providing things that will help improve their child’s intelligence. After reading the introduction of this chapter, I agree with the authors’ example. One example is that parents are more interested in their child’s intelligence. This example is accepted by most of the parents. As well, most of these parents are forgetting the importance of developing social and emotional skills. In some of these cases the parents do not know the following information: How do social skills develop? Who are emotional beings? How can we help children to have good relationships with others?

How do social skills develop? The authors of the book respond to this question by giving interesting suggestions about how most of the parents erroneously believe that this skill is acquired. One suggestion is that parents believe that social skills do not need to be learned, because it just happens. Moreover, I learned in this chapter, that social skills also need to be taught. Children acquire social skills by observing and imitating their parents. As well, they learn from social interactions with others in life. I think that this idea is reflected in toddlers. For example, one day my two year old cousin Melisa was playing with her cell phone, and then she started screaming and yelling at it. This action reflected the social behavior of her mom screaming and yelling on the phone. So children at a young age learn from their parents how to treat others and how to treat themselves. What Melisa was doing was imitating her mom, and the way that she resolved the conflict. Melisa had learned that arguing was a way to solve a problem.

The authors talk about emotional well-being and the importance of recognizing emotions. One example of emotional beings is empathy. I was surprised to know that babies shared emotions, and it is the first sign of empathy. As the authors describe, “Babies can become aware of the emotions of others and feel the other’s emotions vicariously” (p.185). This amazed me because it makes me think about how humans need empathy in order to consider and respect the feelings of others.
Having a secure attachment helps children to have good relationships with their peers. However, how can parents provide a secure attachment? I think it is something easy to do and follow. The authors suggest that consistence and responsiveness to their children needs are essential tools to build a good attachment with others. Furthermore, it is necessary that parents are consistent with their children from the beginning of their life.

On the other hand, it is true that in our society most of the kids spend less time with their parents and more time in a day care. So what the authors suggest in this case is that parents should choose a good day care that can provide high quality care. High quality care happens when the caregivers are aware of the child’s feelings. I know that this is an important aspect. In the day care where I used to work, we focused on behaviors. For example, Matt was a child who was typically in a good mood and showed empathy for the other kids. However, Matt’s behavior changed dramatically when he did not spend time with his mom or grandpa, his primary caregivers. For example, he would behave aggressively by hitting and slapping other kids. Since this behavior was abnormal for him, it did not seem to be him at that moment. The teacher found out what was happening to Matt, and she had the opportunity to talk to his mother, and let her know that Matt needs more physical attention.

In conclusion, this chapter shows again the importance of social skills and emotional well-being. As well, the authors encourage parents to stop worrying about having advanced children because they should focus more on other social skills that are also necessary and important. After reading the chapter, it made me think about the common parental ideology that intelligence is the only thing that matters. Moreover, it is essential for each individual to acquire emotional well-being.

My Perspective, Your Perspective

Hnou has gotten us off to a great start on chapter 8 with this first entry. You'll see that she works with infants, and recognized much of what Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff said about them. Happy reading!

The majority of parents believe that children’s intellectual growth is the most important part of their development. Parents tend to focus on children’s intellectual development more than social development. Although it seems like social development comes naturally to the child, it actually doesn’t. Social development needs as much focus as intellectual development. The concentric circle of social learning that Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff mentioned, has three main circles. In the first circle, babies learn to distinguish between people and objects. Second, babies will become aware of, share, and imitate emotions of others. Finally, they can see from their perspective and from another’s perspective.

Amazingly, babies are more attracted to human features than they are to objects. A baby who is about two days old can actually imitate the facial expression of the person who is holding him or her. Surprisingly, the baby is exchanging interaction and sharing the same experience with that person by imitating. It gives babies a sense that they can connect with other people through “reciprocity in social exchange” (p. 185).

Last week, I tried to distract an infant with a rattle toy in my hand. No matter how loud and fast I rattled the toy, she stared straight into my eyes without even glancing at the toy, like the toy did not exist at all. I tried things like putting the rattle in front of my face, moving it from left to right, looking at the toy, etc., but nothing. Her eyes did not even move an inch. This innate preference is something that we do not teach the child.

As the book mentioned, infants seem to have empathy for others and not just for themselves. Having experiences with the infants at my workplace, once a child starts to cry because of hunger, another child will cry and then the next and then the next and so on. This is the first sign that a child can feel empathy for others because he or she could actually understand how the others are feeling. Children who have not developed their social speech yet, however, can be made aware of the feelings of others. Every time I hear a child cry and there are other babies around, I think to myself, “Uh oh, all the babies here are going to cry any minute now.”

As babies grow, they start to learn how other people think and feel. Instead of looking from their perspective, they start to see how others’ perspectives are. I tend to look at others’ perspectives a lot. Don’t you sometime feel like you don’t want to do something for others, but at the same time you feel wrong? Every time I have that feeling, I tend to imagine the other person’s perspective. Of course, I sometime turn them down, only because I really cannot do what they want me to. Even as adults, we still struggle to know how people feel and think. If we are still struggling about this matter, what goes on in children’s minds? It’s harder for them, so that’s why sometimes they share things and sometime they don’t.

Overall, children’s social development is as important as intellectual development. To strengthen their social growth, interaction with others, such as parents, caregivers, and their peers is the most significant to develop the child’s social skills. Parents need to also focus on their child’s social skill because they do in fact, have to learn them, just like every other developmental skill.

Praising the Child

Our third and final entry for chapter 7 was written by Brittney. She has made some great points about praise...and don't worry...the praise I've just given her is justified. Happy reading!

When we talk about children and how they grow and develop, we think of what may have shaped them into the people they become. We watch children from the time they start to walk and talk, into preschool through adolescence, and until they become adults. The finished product is always questioned: How did they get this way? Who takes the credit or the blame? Whether we believe it or not, children begin to create self concept very young. They are not going to wait for anyone to guide them; they begin the quest for self on their own.

I can understand why a parent may feel like they have the duty to make sure their child is smart, respectful and successful at life. This may be the parent who is making their child a conservative learner, praising them for everything they do. Even though I am a believer of praising a child because I do think that it is encouraging, I can see how it can have a negative effect on a child. It is evident that children get a kick out of praise because of the tone of voice used. It sets an atmosphere of excitement and achievement for the child.

When dealing with the preschool years you may or may not notice that preschoolers think they can do everything. One of the most common lines I hear is, “Look what I can do!,” and 9 times out of 10, they cannot do it, but they want you to watch while they try over and over again. Usually when this happens, I step in and help, then praise as if they did it all alone. Preschoolers have a “never give up” mind frame on their own without the help of an adult. I think one of the best things we can do for children is help them retain this frame of mind. Preschoolers have this notion because they aren’t able to see themselves realistically. As children get older they can develop a better sense of judgment and are able to distinguish the things they are good at and the things they are not so good at. I feel this is a good place for parents to step in and play a part in the “shaping of their child.” I know this is where I would come in as a parent to encourage, assist and give praise where I see progress. Understanding praise and the effect if can have on a child gives you a good sense of judgment about where it is needed.

“Used correctly it can help students become adults who delight in intellectual challenge, understand the value of effort, and are able to deal with setbacks… But if praise is not handled properly it can become a negative force, a kind of drug that rather than strengthening students, makes them more passive and dependent on the opinion of others”(p.175). Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff used this quote from Professor Dweck, and it really stood out to me in a big way because I never realized how praise can actually be bad for a child. I’m sure there are many parents who would be surprised as well. You would think that it could only be beneficial for the child but the truth is that it must be used properly. I think the best thing for the parent and the child would be to make the expectations of the child realistic, and give praise where praise is due. When your child is facing obvious challenges in life, the best thing you can do as a parent is help them through guidance and encouragement. From that you will be able to observe what they can do without your help, and then you can praise them for their progress. This will create healthy high self-esteem from childhood up to adulthood.

My Own Sense of Self

Belinda wrote our second entry for chapter 7. I think you'll enjoy her insight into the child's role in the development of his or her own sense of self. Happy reading!

This chapter contained interesting information regarding how children develop sense of self. I found interesting the fact that as humans, we begin to examine and construct who we are during our first years. I had never thought that children would actually explore their self at a young age. Another aspect that was mentioned in the book that I never thought of is the various ways in which children develop sense of self. The author of the book mentioned that during development, children tend to explore and learn about their physical, social/emotional, and intellectual self. Even though I have been surrounded by children, I never thought of children developing sense of self over time and at different ages. This chapter allowed me to explore the different ways that children acquire and explore who they are.

After reading this chapter I began to observe children around me. From my observations I noticed that most of the information presented was actually true. For example, days ago my dad told my little sister that he was going to sign her up for a soccer team. It amazed me when my little sister responded by saying that she was not going to play soccer. She told my dad that soccer was for boys and she did not want others to say that she was one. Once I heard her saying that soccer was for boys, I realized that she was considering gender roles and what was proper for boys and girls. I analyzed what she had said and concluded that due to the environment in which she has been raised, where only males play soccer, she categorized soccer as an all male sport. Later, after reading this chapter, I explained to her that females can take male’s roles and that it was okay for my dad to sign her up for the soccer team; however, it was up to her.

Sometimes parents focus on the idea that they are the one constructing their children’s sense of self. I have seen many parents imposing and correcting children’s behavior; they ignore the fact that their children have personal needs and desires. On the other hand, there are parents so involved in their children’s behavior that they praise them incorrectly. For instance, an aspect that was mentioned in the book that I strongly agree with was the fact that many parents fail in the area of “praising.” Going back to parents and children’s IQ in chapter six, some parents are so focused on their children being intellectual that it prohibits failing. For instance, when a child fails in a subject, many parents reject their children’s mistakes and see the child differently; due to this consequence, children create the false belief that failing is not okay and avoid future challenges. This can affect children’s self-esteem, especially who they believe they are.

Many parents neglect the idea that their children are the ones guiding their emotions and desires. They are not conscious that their children are the ones shaping their own sense of self. Many parents try to impose their own beliefs and desires on their children and they end up failing. In order to prevent parents from an unrealistic perception of their role in developing children’s self, at the end of the chapter, the author provides guidance for parents. Personally, I see that advice as beneficial, because it prohibits parents from interrupting their children’s search for who they are.

In conclusion, parents should allow their children to develop their sense of self on their own and they should just be there to encourage them through their development.

Who Am I? Developing a Sense of Self

Monique, the author of our first entry on chapter 7, loved Barney when she was a little girl -- can you tell?! She has connected her experiences with that purple dinosaur to the chapter information, and I think you'll enjoy her insight.

When I was in grade school, I remember being told that I was a bright person and that if I earned good grades, I would succeed at what ever it was that I set out to achieve. The encouragement and support that I received motivated me to do well in my studies. Did it work? Yes. I did make it far academically. The motivation and support I received are what helped me stay focused. Do I believe that my family’s encouragement helped me cognitively? Not directly. If I am taking a test their support would not help me to answer those questions correctly. Their support would, however, encourage me to study hard so that I could answer the questions correctly. All of these accomplishments were achieved through studying and doing homework. How well I understood the subject and how much I understood the material is what earned me those answers or grades. If I do not comprehend the material that is given to me, it does not matter how many times someone tells me that I am intelligent, I am not going to excel in that category. I have seen firsthand that when a child receives poor grades, it is automatically assumed that the parent is not stepping up to the plate and playing their role.

Children are different and they learn at different levels. When outside sources put added pressure on the child and the parents, the child comes to feel inadequate, and the parents begin to feel that they also are incompetent to properly guide their children. In the book, Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff state that parents act as if they are the sculptors of their children’s character and self-concept, they strive to be perfect, and they believe that any shortcoming their child undergoes must be their fault. Furthermore, parents believe that if they praise their children for their intelligence, they will have children who will excel academically. I agree with the book that praise for intelligence works paradoxically. Praising children for their intelligence can cause children to become conservative learners who are afraid to push themselves to the limit when they understand that there is always a possibility of failure.

Before reading this chapter, I was unaware that babies develop self-concept from birth. I am not surprised that it does not take literacy-based toys or classes for development to take place. All it takes is everyday life experiences. I am convinced that when and if I ever have children, that playing with them and talking to them will be the best way for them to develop a sense of themselves.

In a sociology course that I took, I became familiar with the fact that gender begins in the cradle, and even before a baby is ever born. I know that in my family when the gender of the baby is announced, our family goes shopping. If it’s a boy, we’re buying blue blankets, strollers, clothing, etc. If it’s a girl the same rules apply: We are shopping for pink outfits, nursery designs, booties and bottles, and so forth.

The book is suggesting that our gender identity is shaped before we can speak for ourselves. I agree, but in my own childhood I remember things a bit differently. I was one of those children who was all for Barney. I had to have everything Barney. My room was Barney, my stuffed animals were Barney, and my bathroom was Barney. Although there was Baby Bop (the female Dinosaur), I preferred Barney. A question I asked my dad before writing this paper was, “Did I choose to have Barney, or did you all make my room to be Barney for me”? According to my dad, I liked Barney and I wanted it to be Barney. The book’s suggestion that parents are the purchasers and the outfitters that decorate their children’s rooms with many sex specific items, does not apply to my childhood situation. I am curious to find out what was happening during that stage of my development. Clearly, Barney is the male Dinosaur and Baby Bop is the female Dinosaur. However, I also had Barbie dolls, toys, and play houses. I had a boy-gendered bedroom with tons of Barbie dolls, cars, and houses.

When it came to my racial identity as a child, I was very confused. I agree with Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff that there is no off-the-shelf training program to speed this process up. It was not until I was older in age when I would identify as just an African American. It was hard for me because I was a biracial child who looked different from everyone else around me in my family. My dad raised me and he is African American, I had no connection to my Filipino culture at all, and there were always people asking questions about my ethnicity. My hair was a different texture from my cousins, and this was really confusing to me as a child. When kids at school asked me what ethnicity I was, I would say “Black,” but I had no way of explaining why my hair was so fine, curly, and very different from the other black children in the class. My grandma would comfort me the most during these times. She helped with my upbringing, so I always received the nurture and support that I needed. I was also the first grandbaby in the family, so I was highly spoiled. I suppose this nurturing helped me form my easy going temperament as it is described in the book. Grandma would sit me on her lap and we would talk and play, and just have a jolly good time.

The book describes emotional regulation as the strategies we use to adjust our emotional capacity to continue our livelihood. For example, if I was being read a book and there was a boy in the book who fell off of his bike and began to cry, I would say the boy is sad. I would use these techniques at the daycare I worked at. Asking questions about the emotions and acting them out is a helpful way to engage the children about how to express their emotions. After reading this chapter, I have come to the conclusion that in order for a child to reach their peak of intellectual development, parents should engage in play with the child, nurture the child, and accept academic achievement as a process, and not as the validation of their ability.
Not Barney

IQ DON'T MEAN A THING

This is Kodi, and he wrote our second and last entry on chapter 6. "The picture I sent is me with my dog Joey," he wrote. "I was in my backyard and I was probably 6, maybe 7 -- I can't remember -- but he was one of my favorite dogs, and I loved playing with him everyday." I think you'll enjoy reading Kodi's thoughts about IQ.

The authors in the beginning of this chapter talk about a fictional town called Lake Wobegon, Minnesota where “all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average” (p.126). Like the author and many others this sounded like a great place to me, but we get fixated on trying to make our children geniuses. Parents have tried different ways to fabricate or increase their child's IQ. I was shocked to hear about the mother who faked her child's IQ to be 298+, and later the child became suicidal and was put into foster care. There are also supplements and formulas that you can buy to increase your child's IQ so that they will become a “genius.” All of this reminded me of the old method of a mother listening to Mozart while she's pregnant to increase IQ. All of this brought up questions: Do these parents even know what intelligence is? What are the effects of focusing so much on this test score? Does IQ even matter?

What is intelligence? Is it a high test score? Is it the ability to memorize ABC's and your 123's at an early age? The authors of the book gave the commonly accepted definition as “The ability to learn or cope with new situations and challenges or to think abstractly” (p.127). Looking at this definition and what the IQ test really measures, these are completely different intelligences that we’re talking about. The IQ test seems to be how much you can memorize or remember, such as vocabulary. Don't get me wrong, memorization is not the easiest thing for everybody. If I can memorize a 2500 word speech in a week’s time, this doesn't necessarily make me a genius; it means I have a good memory. These parents who use flash cards so the child can memorize words do not help them think abstractly or use their coping abilities.

The effects of focusing too much on IQ are that we start to focus more on test scores and the child's creativity and enthusiasm about learning decrease. Shakespeare said, “How my achievements mock me!” and this is what I feel many parents will be saying about their children when they are focusing too much on a test score. Yes their child will achieve high test scores and that will be a great achievement, but what does that really do for them? We need to look at the reality of what the children are losing by this and what we are taking away from them.

IQ doesn't mean a thing to your child's intelligence. Everything that we want our children to learn at early ages they will learn through life and at the proper stage. A 6 month old child does not need to know 100 different vocabulary words. A child's vocabulary, as the authors point out, will increase with everyday talk. In this time we are a very technological society so even babies have touch screen toys and little computers to play with and help them learn. A child learns about the world through tangible objects, not a touch screen. A child cannot learn physics by dropping blocks in a game screen. They need to hold the block in their hands and throw and drop them.

In conclusion, this chapter showed me how pointless the IQ test really is. Parents need to stop worrying about being “above average” on test scores and just let the child be exactly that, a child. Many great minds such as Piaget believed in a stage approach. When I read about all of these IQ “enhancers” it seems like companies are telling you that your child can skip stages. This is impossible. Stages cannot be skipped and we need to stop trying to change the natural course of things. The natural, original way of raising our children is the best way. Our intelligence is not what a piece of paper says, and the number of words, numbers, signs, etc. you can remember does not determine who or what you can be in life.

Got IQ?

This ISN'T Gustavo, the author of our first chapter 6 entry...but it is his "first nephew in the family. His name is Isaiah Escalante born on September 24th, 2010. He weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces and his height is 22 inches." Can you tell that Gustavo is a proud uncle?! Can't blame him...this little guy is CUTE!

And I think that when you read Gustavo's response to this chapter, you'll see that he feels strongly that all children should be valued. Enjoy!

While reading this chapter I think I really agreed with pretty much everything the author talked about. I do believe that society puts way too much emphasis on children’s IQ. After reading this chapter I did stop and think about the author’s point about what IQ really measures. I believe that sometimes it’s more important to let children learn on their own. They should be able to learn from their own experiences, and now they rarely do that because parents as well as the society focus more on academic learning. Parents worry about having their child be one of the smartest. I agree when the author talks about how this way of thinking can have a negative effect on overall life success. I also think that parents now are not happy with their children being just normal. I think that there are many factors that contribute to being intelligent, and they are not all necessarily intellectual. Kids learn things in other ways; I think that kids learn about life by learning to socialize with others.

When I read this chapter I noticed some things that I really never saw before. For example, I live in the same household with my sister, who is older than me; she has a daughter that is 7 years old. After reading this chapter I noticed that my sister is really hard on my niece when it comes to education. When my sister is doing homework with her daughter she puts a lot of pressure on her to get the answers right. When my niece makes a mistake, my sister gets frustrated, and my niece gets upset. I think my sister does wrong by putting so much pressure on my niece. The way I see it my niece is a smart girl. She is involved in many things including soccer and Girl Scouts. I feel like my sister devalues the importance of my niece learning from her own mistakes. I think that my sister should look more carefully to see if there are other ways my niece can learn.

By talking to my sister I have also realized that sometimes parents are too hard on their own children. My sister works at a preschool and one day I went to observe in her classroom. I noticed that my sister is very different with the children in the preschool. She is definitely not hard on those children. Talking to my sister I also realized that the demands even at the preschool level have really gone higher than they used to be. My sister mentioned that now even in the preschool level they have to follow a curriculum. This means that now 3 and 4 year olds are expected to know more. My sister said that they are expected to know all their letters, sounds, numbers, colors, shapes, and many other things. They also have to know how to write their name by the time they leave preschool to go on to kindergarten.

When I went to observe at the preschool my sister works at, I noticed that they do have free play, but not too much because the time is limited because of all the academic learning they have to do. This chapter only leaves me with one question: What do we have to do to make our society understand that a child’s IQ will not determine if that child will be successful or not? After reading this chapter I think I will talk to my sister about being more careful with her daughter, and not putting too much pressure on her. I am going to tell her to let my niece be a child while she still can. I am going to make sure I let her know that it is important for my niece to live happily.

How Best to Promote Reading

Our second and final entry on chapter 5 was written by Bradlee. Like Alex, she had been familiar with much of the information in this chapter, but also gained new and valuable insight into the young child's emergent literacy. Happy reading!

This chapter was extremely interesting to me. The chapter starts off by making examples of two families. One family would read to their daughter every night but not engage the child; when she asked questions, her mother would keep reading and disregard anything that she said. Her mother would also go over flash cards with the child. The flash cards had the letters of the alphabet on them. The other family read to their son every night as well, but they would talk to the child while they read to him. His parents do worry, though, that they do not do enough. Both these families are prime examples of how many parents struggle with teaching their children to read.

I never knew whether trying to teach a young child to read would be beneficial or not. Even though I do not have a child, it is a question that I have asked myself before. Daily, I see ads on television and in magazines that show children reading because they used a certain product. An example of this is “Hooked on Phonics.” This chapter explains that a child will learn to read when they are ready. Reading to the child is a helpful tool that will help the process. When a child is even 6 months old, they are interested in books, not because of the letters, but because of the colors and pictures that are on the book.

I struggle with reading and I do not fully enjoy it. Even though I do not know how I was taught to read, I always wondered what would have helped. That is the part of the chapter that I enjoyed the most. Making reading FUN is so important when teaching a child to read. Many parents believe that using all types of materials to help their child read is the answer. Yes, it will help the child learn letters and many sounds. The only problem is that it may not appear fun to the child because it is not enjoyable, and it could hinder the child’s reading abilities later on.

When I first started reading this, I had heard of most of the issues being presented to me. I did learn something new while reading this. I had never heard of phonemes before reading this. I know that words are made up of sounds but I never knew that there was a term for that. Phonemes are the reason that just learning the alphabet will not make a child able to read. It is important to know the letters of the alphabet and the sounds each individual letter makes, but there are 26 letters and 40different sounds that can be made by those letters. When a child realizes that, they can start to understand the text being presented to them.

The end of the chapter goes on to say that the second family’s child will more easily learn to read, and they will more than likely enjoy reading more than the child in the first family. Knowing letters is important, but reading is so much more than that. This chapter did give examples of ways to help encourage learning to read, but I still question what other ways there are to teach your child to read without forcing it.

Children and Literacy: What's Best for Them

Alex, the author of our first entry on chapter 5, is pictured in the middle here. She's flanked by sisters Amber and Aubrey...apparently her parents liked the letter A! And if the look on Alex's face is any indication, she definitely liked playing! When you read her entry here, you'll see that, even having learned about early literacy in a previous class, she gleened quite a bit from this chapter. Enjoy!

I found this chapter interesting in that it discusses literacy for your baby through early school age. For me, this chapter was repetitive in information, only because I have read two books in my children's literature class about the issues she pointed out in the chapter. Literacy is an issue many parents struggle to address. They try to really emphasize the importance of reading. Reading is important; however, if we overemphasize it and turn reading into a chore and work, they lose interest early on.

The reading also brought me back to my early childhood. When growing up, I struggled in school. The only things I was good at were sports and recess. I remember one year they would take me and a few other students out of the classroom for a reading lab. This lab addressed phonics. We were learning the sound of letters. What is interesting that I did not know before reading this chapter is that, according to Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff, our 26 letters make 40 sounds. That amazes me. The funny thing is, I do not think I can tell you all 40 sounds; I just know them. I feel as though at one point I just started understanding how the sounds and letters make up words that have meaning. Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff explain that we do not need to worry about drilling the mechanics into our children, because surprisingly they start recognizing and making connections at an earlier age.

The best thing we can do for our kids in literacy is to just read to them out loud – frequently, and consistently. One reason why reading aloud to your child and constantly having conversations is beneficial is because it helps build their vocabulary. Having good vocabulary helps them grasp reading earlier than children who did not have that. I never really understood why reading to them at such a young age was so important. It is not about giving your child reading programs because you are afraid they won't learn how to read. What your child needs is to be read to. They need to be able to discuss what they think about the book through illustrations or text, because this is what helps them start to understand the basics of reading; when they get into school, they have an easier time reading. We also need to understand that not every child is going to be read to frequently. This is not because their parents don't care, but the fact of the matter is, they might not be able to afford books.

The authors also talked about story time. Story time is not just for the adults to read aloud to the kids, but for the kids to tell a story. I like the example the book gave for showing a child that words have meaning. The example was about the parent who has a young child who hasn't learned to write yet. In order to show them that words they read have meaning like the words we speak, you have them tell a story. When they tell the story, you write down exactly what they told you. Then you repeat what you wrote down so that they know they wrote a story that was full of meaningful words. I thought that was great. I know a few classmates who work in day care centers and when the children tell stories and are not able to write, the teachers write them down. I always thought they were doing that because they can't read. Now I see that it helps them in their development of literacy.

If there is one thing for you to take from this blog entry, it would be to make literacy fun. Let the child explore the book. Don't make it a chore by learning all the mechanics. We naturally start recognizing the patterns when books are made available and read frequently. There is so much great children's literature out there that can take a child into different worlds, families, and places, and it allows them to hear the words and take in that nice vocabulary you build for them.

No Special Equipment Required

In our last chapter 4 entry, Maggie gives us a final reminder that talking to and interacting with babies is the best way to foster language development. I'm sure you'll appreciate her personal perspective on Elkind's work.

Many parents seem to believe that in order for their child to develop linguistically, they need to buy them the newest innovative toy or product that will engage language learning. Hundreds upon hundreds of dollars are being spent on products that are NOT necessary for the growth of that child. Why? Because all you need to help your child grow linguistically is to talk to them. That’s it. Talk to them; interact with them, etc. According to the authors, we learn language through social relationships. I know it’s easy to believe that a computer game or a TV show can help children learn “faster” or be a step ahead, but in reality, it’s just a sales pitch.

I didn’t grow up in a technology-rich environment. We didn’t have a computer, fancy toys, or anything that would “enhance language learning.” Even though I didn’t have those things, I can fluently speak, read, and write two languages: English and Spanish. Spanish was my first language because my parents only speak Spanish. They didn’t buy CD’s that would constantly tell me that “casa” means “house” in Spanish. They just talked to me through daily interactions. By the time I was 3 years old I was speaking fluent Spanish without help from any “language enhancement” product. I didn’t have Leapfrog to help me learn English, either. I went to school and was immersed in the English language. My teachers spoke to me in English, my peers spoke to me in English, etc. THAT is how I learned to speak English. I learned Spanish at home and English at school; both languages were learned through social interaction and communication.

Children can learn new languages easily because according to Chomsky, we have a natural instinct for picking up language. We don’t need to be given a lesson on language as we learn to speak it. A child’s mind begins to decipher pauses, fluctuations, syllables, words, phrases, sentences, etc. In fact, by the seventh month of the pregnancy, the child can already begin to hear snippets of conversations in the outside world. Mom speaks to her baby or to others around her throughout the day, so the child is already exposed to the mother’s language. By 4.5 months, a baby can decipher when a sentence ends and another begins by hearing the pauses and fluctuations of the sentences. In addition, around the same time, babies will begin to recognize their own names. Constantly, they hear their names being called when being addressed by their parents, family, etc. Studies have been done where they are called by a different name by one person and their own name by another, and the baby is more likely to respond to their own name than the other name.

At six months, a child still does not have verbal language, but they do have a type of language. Language is a means to communicate; who said language had to be verbal? At six months, a baby can follow us with their eyes or gaze at an object they find interesting. By nine months, they can also follow where our finger is pointing, if we decide to show them something by pointing at it. This may not be verbal language, but a gaze can say, “Oh, look at that. That looks interesting.” In response, the parent can see the infant gazing at the object and then bring it to the child.

As the child continues to grow linguistically, they begin to babble. This constitutes sound patterns like “ba,” “da,” “ma,” etc. For a while, the baby continues to babble until they start to connect objects or people to their babbles. Soon, they begin to hear and catch more words in their vocabulary, and are able to say them. By 18 months, a child can name people, animals, and objects they see constantly, like foods, toys, etc. Soon, they begin to make two-word sentences like, “Dada home” instead of “Daddy is home.”

By the time a child is 3 years old, they can speak in clear sentences, and they begin to realize we mostly speak in past tense. In addition, they notice that we add –ed to the end of words spoken in past tense. This is fascinating because they see this pattern on their own. No one stopped them in the middle of the day to explain how to say a word in past tense. By 4 years old, a child begins to notice when and how to use certain words or phrases. For example, saying, “Have a good day!” or “Hope you had fun!” Also at this age, they begin to understand the context, setting, and storylines in stories. Although they may not know the terminology, they understand that Cinderella first lived with her mean stepmother, and then went to the ball, then married the prince. Of course, the more we speak to children, the more language they will acquire, and storytelling is one of the best mediums for this.

Language development is best developed when children are spoken to more often. This means actual conversation, not, “Go to bed,” “Clean your room,” “Don’t make a mess,” etc. They need to have real conversations. Ask open-ended questions. Expand the conversation. The more this is done, the more the child will develop linguistically. You don’t need Leapfrog, or other fancy products and toys to stimulate language enhancement, just talk to them.

Don't Forget to Talk!!!

This is Amanda, the author of our second chapter 4 entry. She said, "This is me and my brother acting silly! I don't remember how old we are, but I still remember that day! We took turns smashing each other with our bean bags and laughing the whole time!" You can see she had some great play experiences as a child, and I think you'll enjoy reading her take on what Elkind has to say about play and language.

The authors opened the chapter by telling a story of a mother who was trying to teach her child new words by showing him flash cards. The baby was not interested and wanted one of his toys. The mother soon gave up and gave him his toy. When I first heard of parents using flash cards, I thought that maybe the cards would be helpful. But after reading this little story, I realized that flash cards may be too boring for babies. We all know that children have short attention spans, so how do we expect them to sit long enough for us to show them the flash cards?

The authors point out to us that the best way to help children learn language is to simply talk to them. They learn language when they are engaged in conversations. When I read this I thought of a boy I used to nanny. I used to talk to him all the time. His parents also would talk to him, and it wasn’t long before Jacob was talking all the time! He sounded so cute because he would use extremely large words for a boy his age; he sounded like a miniature adult!

One thing that I found interesting in this chapter is how fast children actually are learning new words. The chapter says that by the time a child is 18 months they usually know around 50 words. Then they have a “naming explosion” (p. 79). By this they mean the child starts learning around 63 words a week. This blows my mind. That is a lot of words for a child who just a few months earlier was only babbling. I started thinking to see if I remember the naming explosion happening to the children that I am around. Then I remembered a little girl at my church, Alana. I remember I had only heard her say a few words here and there. Then one day I saw her and she was naming everything. I remember talking to her mom and even her mom was surprised at how much Alana was starting to say. Now Alana is going to be four and is talking away!

As I read through this chapter I began to think about the children that I come in contact with everyday and where they are in their language development. It is amazing to me to notice how quickly their language skills grow. My little cousin Cheyenne is one that I thought about a lot. She is just two and a half and is in the stage of putting together words to make sentences. When I walk in the house she immediately runs through the house saying, “Manda here! Manda here!” or when my dad goes outside, she says, “Where Jesse go?” It is so amazing to me how fast she has progressed in language. It was only a year ago she could only say a few words and now she is talking in sentences.

After reading this chapter I began to realize just how important talking to children is for their language development. Talking with them helps them more than flash cards or a computer program. When you talk to children you are allowing them to interact and express their feelings. You are also letting them talk about what is important to them and while doing so you are helping them to master language. So when you want to help your child or any child you come in contact with to become better in their language skills, remember: Talk to them!

Babbling

It seems hard to believe, but we're already on chapter 4: Language -- The Power of Babble. Denise has written our first entry here, and you'll see that the authors not only answered some of her questions about language development, but also made her even more curious about this fascinating aspect of development. Enjoy!

Reading this chapter really opened my eyes to the way children learn language. The beginning of the chapter started out discussing how children don’t need computers and other electronic devices to help with language development. The chapter said that the most effective tool for babies to learn language is human interactions. I could not agree with this more. Babies don’t need computer programs or other electronic devices to learn language, they need physical interactions with humans. Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff wrote, “The irony is that each child is born to be a linguistic genius” (p.62). This quote is very true; eventually every child learns how to speak, and it is up to the parents to give their children tools (such as daily interactions) to learn language.

One of the main points the chapter addressed was the fact that some children have more words than others at the same age. This is very evident to me when I am at work. I work at a daycare and when I am in the two year old class, I am amazed at how some children have such bigger vocabularies than others. One of the key concepts in child development is that children learn and develop at different rates, but that doesn’t necessarily mean children who develop slower than others have a learning disability. The chapter is very good at making this clear. Often times parents will take their children to specialists because they are not learning language at a fast enough rate. Parents who do this need to stop, take a breath, and give their children a chance to learn language at their own pace.

A question of mine that the reading answered was: At what age can a child start to distinguish the difference between their mother’s voice as opposed to a different woman’s voice? The answer to my question is that children can start doing this at seven months old. There was a study conducted that showed seven month old children were able to distinguish the difference between their mother’s voice and another woman’s voice. The study also showed that babies prefer to hear their mother’s voices over other female voices.

The chapter kept reinforcing that babies don’t need flash cards or computer programs to learn language. My question is at what age (if any) would it be appropriate to start incorporating computer programs to aid learning language? In my opinion, the age of eight would be a good time to start using computer programs to help with language development, because it would help them better understand the rules of language that some parents might not be able to teach their children.

After reading this chapter it has inspired me to use baby sign with my baby. I always used to think that baby sign was pointless, but the chapter proved me wrong. Using baby sign can help a baby maybe start to use words earlier in life. Not only is it important for the parent to do the sign, but it is also important for the parent to say the word that goes along with the sign; this can also help speed up the baby’s language learning process. The fact that babies can’t say words doesn’t mean they can’t communicate with their caregivers. As adults, it is important to know what to look for when a baby is trying to communicate something. There are many different forms of communication including babbling, but the one all parents wait for is their baby’s first word.

A Little More on Number

This is Ritchiel, the author of our second and final entry on chapter 3, and her sisters. She said, "This picture was taken in the Philippines. I believe I was six years old." She explained that she wishes she had more pictures, but her mom told her that most of them are still in the Philippines. Her second oldest sister, Cherry Ann, is on the far left; Lorely, the oldest, is in the middle; Raciel, the third oldest, is on the far right; and Ritchiel is "last, but not least." Enjoy reading Ritchiel's take on what Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff had to say in chapter 3.

The authors did an amazing job in this chapter describing how toddlers learn how to do addition and subtraction. As soon as I began reading the passage, I realized how children learn differently and that much of the time, they will not give the right answer.

In the beginning of the passage, Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff told a little story about a mother who was reading the newspaper and discovered that, “infants can perform addition and subtraction” (p. 38). As soon as I read the passage, I read it again just to make sure I read it right, and I did. I stopped and thought, how can an infant learn to do addition and subtraction at such a young age? How is it even possible for them to process that in their brain when they’re barely learning how to suck their thumb or their bottles? When you think about it, it would be good if it were true that an infant can perform at such a young age. Of course we all want our children to be smart and give them the best path to succeed in their education (I don‘t have children yet), because if we don’t we’re the ones to blame.

As the chapter continues, it begins discussing the results from some research, and some ideas for helping children learn how addition and subtraction work. Studies show that children can learn how to do addition and subtraction. Professor Janellen Huttenlocher did a study with toddlers, and it was a success. The same success occurred when she did her studies on monkeys. I thought it was a brilliant idea to use an object instead of using flash cards to show a child how the equation works. But, I still disagree with Professor Janellen Huttenlocher’s research, because I do believe that children tend to memorize a word, such as three, as the “name” for everything, and would do the same with color. For instance, a child might think “red” is the name for all colors. The child needs to learn through experience that three don’t mean that every item is going to be three.

I began reflecting on my former job as a preschool teacher three years ago. The first time I started working at the preschool, I was very surprised that children who were 5 and/or about to start kindergarten must learn their ABC’s, numbers to 30, shapes, sight words, and must know how to write their name. I felt really bad for the children, because they were loaded with a ton of homework and they’re not even in grade school. It seemed to me like they were not given the time and space to enjoy their childhood. It seemed to me like they skipped the childhood stage and jumped into the adult stage. When I was in preschool in the Philippines, I remember just playing a lot and of course learning my ABC’s, numbers, etc. As a child, I learned by playing. I’ve never seen children put under pressure as much as I saw it while working at the preschool for three years. Preschool should be fun for children, which is the way I remember it. You can always combine learning and playing at the same time. Hirsh- Pasek and Golinkoff wrote that, “Children learn much better through play” (p.58). I think this is the most important part of learning.

Reading this passage has made me realize more about how children are put under pressure to learn. I think it’s great that school has high standards for their students because it will benefit them later as they go on with their schooling. But you can’t forget that children are still children, they’re not robots. Children cannot program themselves to learn something in a second once the teacher explains it once. Children need different objects to manipulate, so the children will have a better understanding of what is happening. Also children need to learn to communicate with their peers or others, and their motor skills needs to be practiced as well. Make learning fun for children. Throw in some fun activities that you could do with them; in that way you will meet your goal as a teacher, and of course your children will be having fun and not stressing out about learning new things.

Playing the Numbers: Lessons from Vinny

This is Kasandra, and in her words, it's "a soccer picture of me when I was a chubby little four year old!" When you read her entry, you'll see that she's done a nice job not only remembering a little from her own preschool years, but applying information from chapter 3 to her current experiences with young children. Enjoy!

When you ask a two year old how old they are, they usually look back and hold up two fingers to show you. While they know how many fingers to hold up to represent their age, do they really know what the number two means? In chapter three, Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff explore the process of children’s understanding of quantity. Previous to reading this chapter, I had never really put much thought into when or how children learn what numbers truly mean. I knew there was a certain age they learned to count from one to ten, but I never considered that even though they knew the numbers, they didn’t know what they truly meant. I can’t personally recall when I began to understand numbers. I do, though, recall when I realized numbers go on for infinity. I was a third grader, and wrapping my mind around that was a lot to take in.
I agree with the authors when they say parents in our society are too worried that their child is going to be behind in school before they even start preschool. Parents hear that infants should be able to add and subtract numbers, and automatically think their child is behind. They then go out and buy flashcards and math videos to help their children catch back up to speed. This reminds me of a very important lesson I learned in one of my psychology classes. Parents need to learn what sources to listen to and which ones to just ignore completely. To know what information is legitimate you need to learn what a credible source is; you can’t listen to everything you hear.
I was at a baseball game with my family and my three year old cousin Vinny asked me for quarters so he could by some candy at the snack shack. I didn’t have any quarters so I gave him two dimes and a nickel and told him it was the same amount. My Dad then proceeded to give him two quarters, so Vinny then gave me my change back. After reading this chapter and looking back at this incident, I realized Vinny didn’t know that a quarter was twenty-five cents; he just knew that he needed a quarter to buy some licorice, and that was all that mattered to him. He has yet to completely understand the true value of a number, though he does know that a quarter has a money value.
While reading this chapter I kept thinking of children I interact with at the daycare where I work. I am curious to know what goes through their young minds when playing with the manipulatives we set out every day. I also wonder what they think about when I ask them how old they are. Reading this chapter made me realize how complex the brain truly is. As Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff stated, “Nature has programmed children to learn about numbers”(p.42). Doing exercises with children to assist them to better understand quantity is excellent; however, children will learn on their own the true meaning of numbers.

Mom's Womb Wasn't a Disco!

This is Ally, the author of our final entry on chapter 2, with her grandmother when she was little. "The violin is not real," she explained, "but I used to make it make noises. My sisters tell me I used to play it like a guitar."









Here, Ally is with her little brother. She said, "The cat's name is Pee Wee (from Pee Wee Herman). My sisters told me that Pee Wee ran away because I used to dress him up and act like he was my baby doll."
Clearly, Ally had some fun play experiences as a child, and you'll see that she shared some of those in her entry. I hope she doesn't mind how I titled the entry -- I loved the point she makes about mom's womb, so thought it was fitting! Happy reading.





Chapter two of Einstein Never Used Flash Cards is an amazing chapter filled with tons of information of which new parents and early childhood care providers should be aware. This chapter is entitled Brainchild: How Babies are Wired to Learn. At the beginning of this chapter we are introduced to new parents that are trying to be the best parents possible. These parents, like many others, have learned from friends and media that there are ways to give your child an extra advantage in life; they have decided to get the video Baby Genius: Mozart and Friends. When they were having their second child, they learned that playing music to their unborn child would make them smarter and increase the physical and emotional bonds between parent and child. Parents are almost willing to do or pay anything to give their children the best possible life. But is listening to the new hype the way to go?

The authors of this book explain that there has been a connection between music and childhood intelligence. But it is not explicitly from playing “classical music”; it is from stimulating the synapses connections in the brain of the young child. This Mozart effect or idea was started on the University of Wisconsin’s Oshkosh campus. A researcher named Francis Rauscher was looking at the effect of classical music and “spatial reasoning tasks.” The research showed that after listening to classical music the students’ performance on tasks was better. The news of this study got out to the media and the media came up with the concept of music helping increase children’s brain development. The media and developers of toys are willing to tell parents anything to get them to buy their products. Everyday new parents are bombarded with new products that will help their baby’s brain develop faster and better. The idea is that parents are supposed to be the “sculptors” of their children’s young minds, but is that really the case?

Some scientist and toy developers believe that it is important to have children take advantage of the extra synapse connections that they can form. They believe that the more connections and things that young children learn, the smarter they will be. But many, including me, believe that the brain needs to be “pruned” so that we can make way to learn new concepts and extend on previously learned concepts. Research has discovered that the Fragile X Syndrome, which causes mental retardation, is related to the lack of pruning of these synapses. This is why it is important not to over stimulate a child. Neonatal nurses first thought that stimulating the mind in the neonatal ward would help the child go on to live a more successful life. But later research showed that these children that were over exposed to special lighting and sounds had ADD problems as well as other attention problems.

When children are placed in natural environments where they can see, hear, smell and touch, they are going to learn just fine. In the womb of your mother’s tummy there is no disco ball spinning, and there is no music box playing Mozart. In the womb there is only relaxation and the distant sound of people talking or making noise. Children are developing in the womb without any outside force showing them what to listen to or learn.

It is not true that the first three years of childhood are the most important; all of childhood is important. There is no magical age by which children need to learn. It is true that at a young age, children learn they can trust and not trust certain people. Children learn about the world, relationships and language through listening and seeing others during childhood. The book gives an example of a little girl named Genie who was a prisoner in her own bedroom. Genie’s parents kept her in a small room from the time she was 20 months old. The little girl was tied to a potty chair in her room and only had physical contact when she was fed. When the child was found at the age of 13, she was undersized, very brittle, and under nourished.

After years and years of trying to teach Genie language skills, she was still at the language stage of a four year old. This goes to prove that children can always learn new things, but it is important to give them a natural environment in which to learn. This also proves that if children are not provided the right tools to learn and grow, they will become socially, physically, and mentally disadvantaged as they get older. But these tools are not DVD’s or Leapfrogs; children need plenty of love, conversation, and things to explore so that their brains can develop. You cannot open a child’s head and pour in the information you want them to learn. They might be able to recite a few words from memorization, but will they be able to tell you what the sentence means?

As we have learned today it is not always better to overload a child with information. Do adults like being overloaded with work? Do they like being bombarded with too much information to process? Why would people think it is ok to over work a child? Parents! Please stop listening to the media and other myths and please start listening to yourself. You know what is best for your child; do what feels right.

When I was a child I remember not having money to buy new toys, so we made our toys. I played outdoors with my siblings and cousins; we played house, we imagined that we were kings and queens ruling the land, and we made our own carnivals in our backyard. This is why I agree that it is so important to take children outside and let them explore, take family trips to the beach or to your own backyard, don’t have your children just memorize things, teach them the context of what they are learning, and most important of all…. do not go out and buy the latest toy that is supposed to increase children’s brain function. You can give the child toilet paper rolls, old clean rags, cardboard, and empty water bottles and just watch what the children can make or imagine.

I know when I have a child I am not going to listen to the media and what the newest child books say, but of course I want to do the best thing for my child. What is best for my child is not always what others claim. What is best for my child and your child is what you think is best. Let your child play, explore, and make mistakes. Childhood theorists Vygotsky, Erickson, and Piaget all agree that play, friends, and security are the most important thing in a child’s life so make sure to give them those.

Chapter 2: Brainchild: How Babies Are Wired to Learn

The author of our first entry for chapter 2 is Kylie. If you haven't already guessed, this is a picture taken with her dad, Kevin, and she said, "I am a daddy's girl for sure."


Not only is Kylie Daddy's girl, but she's also the youngest in her family. This is her with her older siblings. She said, "Family is a very important part of my life, and they are awesome. The oldest girl is Amanda (the blonde one), then Melanie (the brown haired girl), then Scott, and then I am the youngest!"

My guess is that Kylie's family thinks she's awesome, too. And for that matter, I believe you'll agree that her blog entry fits the "awesome" label, as well! Happy reading.

I have always been very skeptical about all of the “make your baby smarter” merchandise that is so popular with parents today. It was encouraging to read in this chapter that educational merchandise, geared to making parents feel that the material is necessary in order for their child to have a better brain, is completely unnecessary for the proper growth of their child’s cognitive skills. When the book talked about all of the myths about the brain development of children, I felt a wave of relief. Although I do not have kids, it was encouraging to read that the parents of a child are not the sculptors of their child’s brain. If the child has a normal environment to thrive in, their brain will develop just as it is supposed to; no special, educational programs needed.

There were many parts of this chapter that made me think of my nieces and nephew. My siblings are great parents who do not overload their children with information, but allow them to spend time with the things that interest them. Although all of the children in my family are free to explore and learn without rigid guidelines, they all were exposed to educational merchandise. When my siblings became parents they were all swayed, at one point in their parenting life, into thinking that their children needed extra stimulation to have better brains. I have never experienced the privilege of parenting, but I can only imagine how much influence the media’s idea of parenting has on one’s parenting style – and how much pressure parents must feel.

The most common educational merchandise that my family has been exposed to is the “Baby Einstein” DVD series. These items focus on playing classical music for varying ages while showing visuals of different shapes with multiple colors. I never thought twice about these items, but after reading the chapter I see that there is no benefit. Another form of educational merchandise that my family has been exposed to is flash cards of information. The child that has been most exposed to this is my nephew, Joshua. My nephew is a unique child. He is not even three years old and he can read very well. He does not just memorize books, but he actually comprehends what he is reading. He can pick up a third or fourth grade level book that he has never seen before and comprehend what it says. I feel that Joshua is a very gifted child and is truly advanced for his age. His favorite thing is to learn new things and he learns very quickly. Joshua’s parents have used flash cards in response to his wanting to learn new things constantly. He loves his flash cards, and it is always him asking for them and not his parents wanting to quiz his skills. Although I agreed with the book when it said that flash card learning is not as effective as learning things with context, I cannot help but be curious as to whether, in Joshua’s case, there is an exception. He is so advanced for his age that it is difficult for him to learn things that he wants to learn within their proper context. Joshua learns so fast that it is difficult for his parents to keep up with him. New learning material gets really expensive at his accelerated rate. Flash cards are an easy and much less expensive way for him to have access to what he wants to learn. In his case, I have questions with what child development people would say with what would be the best way to raise such a gifted child.

Chapter two reminded me of things that I have learned about child development. One of the things that I was reminded of when reading this book was that children excel the best when their parent is conscious of their interests and needs. Children learn the most when the lessons are geared in a way that they understand it and it is not just memorization. The most crucial thing for a child’s development is to provide a positive and loving home environment. I also was reminded of the fact that as a consumer, it is our responsibility to be an informed consumer. Taking something as fact without researching it at all on your own is irresponsible to yourself and to your children. Being informed about how to look at research and see what is legitimate and what is not is a great tool that I learned from studying child development.

Although the reading reminded me of multiple child development concepts that I have previously learned, the reading also gave me questions about child development. After taking so many child development classes and adding the new knowledge to what I believed to be true about children before classes, it has been difficult not to question myself regarding the way I interact with children. It is difficult for me to truly trust myself with the skills that I have acquired by being exposed to children. I feel like I have been exposed to so much information about child development that I have to go through my knowledge to make sure that my actions toward a child are supported by research. This process makes my actions with children much more reserved than I feel that I would be if I were not as informed. It is important for me, and every other future or current parent, to take the knowledge, provided in child development courses, and apply it to their parenting style, but to not completely question your own ability.

I am so glad that I was able to read this book because I have always been passionate about raising my future children in a loving and cognitively-encouraging environment. It is amazing to me that the general public jumps on any new concept that the media comes up with, regardless of the validity of the research behind it. After reading this chapter, it is more evident to me how important it is for parents to not take everything they hear about child research as truth, but research themselves what is truly best for their children.