Our third and final entry for chapter 7 was written by Brittney. She has made some great points about praise...and don't worry...the praise I've just given her is justified. Happy reading!
When we talk about children and how they grow and develop, we think of what may have shaped them into the people they become. We watch children from the time they start to walk and talk, into preschool through adolescence, and until they become adults. The finished product is always questioned: How did they get this way? Who takes the credit or the blame? Whether we believe it or not, children begin to create self concept very young. They are not going to wait for anyone to guide them; they begin the quest for self on their own.
I can understand why a parent may feel like they have the duty to make sure their child is smart, respectful and successful at life. This may be the parent who is making their child a conservative learner, praising them for everything they do. Even though I am a believer of praising a child because I do think that it is encouraging, I can see how it can have a negative effect on a child. It is evident that children get a kick out of praise because of the tone of voice used. It sets an atmosphere of excitement and achievement for the child.
When dealing with the preschool years you may or may not notice that preschoolers think they can do everything. One of the most common lines I hear is, “Look what I can do!,” and 9 times out of 10, they cannot do it, but they want you to watch while they try over and over again. Usually when this happens, I step in and help, then praise as if they did it all alone. Preschoolers have a “never give up” mind frame on their own without the help of an adult. I think one of the best things we can do for children is help them retain this frame of mind. Preschoolers have this notion because they aren’t able to see themselves realistically. As children get older they can develop a better sense of judgment and are able to distinguish the things they are good at and the things they are not so good at. I feel this is a good place for parents to step in and play a part in the “shaping of their child.” I know this is where I would come in as a parent to encourage, assist and give praise where I see progress. Understanding praise and the effect if can have on a child gives you a good sense of judgment about where it is needed.
“Used correctly it can help students become adults who delight in intellectual challenge, understand the value of effort, and are able to deal with setbacks… But if praise is not handled properly it can become a negative force, a kind of drug that rather than strengthening students, makes them more passive and dependent on the opinion of others”(p.175). Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff used this quote from Professor Dweck, and it really stood out to me in a big way because I never realized how praise can actually be bad for a child. I’m sure there are many parents who would be surprised as well. You would think that it could only be beneficial for the child but the truth is that it must be used properly. I think the best thing for the parent and the child would be to make the expectations of the child realistic, and give praise where praise is due. When your child is facing obvious challenges in life, the best thing you can do as a parent is help them through guidance and encouragement. From that you will be able to observe what they can do without your help, and then you can praise them for their progress. This will create healthy high self-esteem from childhood up to adulthood.
Brittney, I absolutely agree with you. I think that praise has a time and a place. I especially love when you said “give praise where praise is due.” I feel that kids today are praised way too often. It’s getting to the point where children are failing and still being praised. I think this is most apparent is sports with younger children. There are a lot of sports organizations that give trophies to every team, even if they don’t win. This is a problem because I don’t think it motivates the children to get better. Like you said I think parents should encourage their children as much as possible. Praise should only be used when deemed necessary. There is a fine line between praise and encouragement. Unfortunately, I don’t think most parents know the difference. You brought up some great points, and I really enjoyed reading your entry.
ReplyDelete~ Caitlin Stiglich
I also was surprised to learn that praise is not always beneficial to a child. It is crazy to me that something that you were always taught to do for a child can be bad for them. Hearing that praise could be dangerous for a child kind of freaked me out at first. I thought that I completely screwed up every kid that I ever gave praise to because I was setting a judgment on their actions. An alternative to praise, which does not inhibit a child, is descriptive encouragement. This is when a parent or caregiver describes the details of the work that a child has performed instead of just saying that it is “good”. I feel that describing what a child did shows the child that you actually are noticing the details that they put into their work instead of just saying it is good or bad. When the parent or caregiver takes a second longer to notice the child’s efforts, I feel that it does wonders for a child’s development.
ReplyDeleteKylie Riddle
I have to say that at first it is good to praise kids for new things that they do or desirable things so they will keep on doing them. As time goes on praise should begin to be faded out and given only once in a while. I use praise with the kids that I work with. Praise to them is an extra incentive to focus and give the right response or appropriate answer. When they do not ignoring them or their actions is what we do. With Autistic children praise works wonders, sometimes they will stem off of it and a specific type of praise has to be discontinued.
ReplyDeleteCelia Lopez
I agree with you. I do not believe that too much praise can be given to children. I grew up in a home with little praise, the only attention I got was when I was in trouble. I remember acting out just to get attention then. I feel parental praise helps children feel acknowledgment from their parents and also builds the child's confidence!
ReplyDeleteAmy Wilson
Brittney, I completely agree with you when you say that praising can become a bit too much at times. But I do think that there is a difference between praise and encouragement. Praising a child for completing a task such as doing their homework correctly or learning to ride a bike is good praising. Encouraging would be a case such as cheering a child on in a sport even if one may know that the child is struggling in it. Praise can mostly affect children who are at an older age; around ages 3-6. Kids will begin to catch onto the praising and begin to look for the reward or praise. For example, if a child continuously tattle tells on another child for hitting and receives a candy bar each time, the child may continue to tattle because they know they may receive the candy bar after. This blog came to my attention because not many people may think praising could ever be a bad thing, such as myself. So this topic really caught my interest and eye.
ReplyDeleteNicole Duff