Belinda wrote our second entry for chapter 7. I think you'll enjoy her insight into the child's role in the development of his or her own sense of self. Happy reading!
This chapter contained interesting information regarding how children develop sense of self. I found interesting the fact that as humans, we begin to examine and construct who we are during our first years. I had never thought that children would actually explore their self at a young age. Another aspect that was mentioned in the book that I never thought of is the various ways in which children develop sense of self. The author of the book mentioned that during development, children tend to explore and learn about their physical, social/emotional, and intellectual self. Even though I have been surrounded by children, I never thought of children developing sense of self over time and at different ages. This chapter allowed me to explore the different ways that children acquire and explore who they are.
After reading this chapter I began to observe children around me. From my observations I noticed that most of the information presented was actually true. For example, days ago my dad told my little sister that he was going to sign her up for a soccer team. It amazed me when my little sister responded by saying that she was not going to play soccer. She told my dad that soccer was for boys and she did not want others to say that she was one. Once I heard her saying that soccer was for boys, I realized that she was considering gender roles and what was proper for boys and girls. I analyzed what she had said and concluded that due to the environment in which she has been raised, where only males play soccer, she categorized soccer as an all male sport. Later, after reading this chapter, I explained to her that females can take male’s roles and that it was okay for my dad to sign her up for the soccer team; however, it was up to her.
Sometimes parents focus on the idea that they are the one constructing their children’s sense of self. I have seen many parents imposing and correcting children’s behavior; they ignore the fact that their children have personal needs and desires. On the other hand, there are parents so involved in their children’s behavior that they praise them incorrectly. For instance, an aspect that was mentioned in the book that I strongly agree with was the fact that many parents fail in the area of “praising.” Going back to parents and children’s IQ in chapter six, some parents are so focused on their children being intellectual that it prohibits failing. For instance, when a child fails in a subject, many parents reject their children’s mistakes and see the child differently; due to this consequence, children create the false belief that failing is not okay and avoid future challenges. This can affect children’s self-esteem, especially who they believe they are.
Many parents neglect the idea that their children are the ones guiding their emotions and desires. They are not conscious that their children are the ones shaping their own sense of self. Many parents try to impose their own beliefs and desires on their children and they end up failing. In order to prevent parents from an unrealistic perception of their role in developing children’s self, at the end of the chapter, the author provides guidance for parents. Personally, I see that advice as beneficial, because it prohibits parents from interrupting their children’s search for who they are.
In conclusion, parents should allow their children to develop their sense of self on their own and they should just be there to encourage them through their development.
Belinda, I am curious to see what your sister chooses to do and why. I remember a time when I was in fifth grade at a small mountain school. I decided to join the flag football team. Why? I have no idea! I do remember growing up always "wishing" that I would grow up to be a boy. Our home was structured around my dad and his work. He was a contractor. We were always poor, so I would get my brother's hand-me-downs. I was dressed like a boy (not by choice, mind you) and was worked like a boy. We worked everyday on our father's construction sites, learning how to lay rock and mix cement and lay foundations. My "gendering" began before I was able to make a choice. I was even given a boy's haircut when I was in second grade. All of this accumulated to me (a girl) joining a flag football team in fifth grade. This team was a no-tackle team; however, my first day of practice, an older boy who did not want me out tackled me straight into the ground. I finished the season, but learned quickly that this was not my "place". Since then, I have come to understand femininity and masculinity more. I still have many "masculine" traits, such as assertiveness and am very athletic. I also have many feminine characteristics that hopefully create more of a balance than it did at one time. All of this to say, I can understand the misuse of parental influences when preparing the environment for their children. My environment growing up was not aligned with what society expects (as I understand it now) of little girls. I do believe that parents play a larger role in shaping their children than perhaps this chapter points out. I see the manner in which I was raised, which resulted in me being a "tomboy". I think parents can influence their kids greatly, but balance it with discovering the uniqueness about their children.
ReplyDeleteSarah T.
Belinda, I really like your blog entry. I think it is interesting how children at a young age develop their own sense of self. I never thought that children will be aware of it. I like your example, and how you explain to your sister that it is okay for females to take the male’s roles. Also, I like the idea that children should be able to decide and give options about the opportunities that they have to practice sports. For example, you let your sister decide if she wanted to join a soccer team. I think that as adults, it is essential to let children explore their personal needs and desires.
ReplyDelete-Susana Magana-
Belinda wrote a blog concerning the way children develop a sense of self. She states that throughout the development of a child, they begin to learn and process things around them. The ecosystem of a child eventually shapes their physical, social, emotional and intellectual.
ReplyDeleteI find that parents should have the right balance concerning a child’s development. I feel that the way a parent lives and interacts with people plays a huge role on their children's life. Belinda gave an example of her parents telling her little sister that she should play soccer. Her sister said that it was a boy’s sport and did not wish to do so. Belinda noticed the gender roles that her sister had perceived. Further expanding on this point, Belinda could also have mentioned how these gender roles could one day develop her sister’s sense of a male dominated world.
I feel that children should be guided in the right direction and learn from their own mistakes. Also that parents should be the prime example in the way they live their lives.
Belinda, this was a great blog entry and I enjoyed reading it. I totally know what you mean about not realizing or even conceiving the fact that children, especially young infants, are able to develop their own sense of self through a variety of activities and explorations. I loved your example with your sister and gender roles and I like how you explained to her how she can play soccer because it's not just a "guys sport". I also feel that parents try to shape their children too much through praising the wrong things. For example, a parent should praise their child for their efforts and attempts, not necessarily for their achievements and outcomes. People learn from making mistakes and it is normal and truly benefits development. Parents and adults should acknowledge this fact and encourage their children. Good job!
ReplyDelete~ Morgan Miguel