This is Santiago and Mely, the nephews of Susana, the author of our second and final entry on chapter 8. Pretty fitting, I'd say, given that she is going to talk about the importance of socialization! Enjoy!In the beginning of the chapter, the authors talk about how parents are frustrated about providing things that will help improve their child’s intelligence. After reading the introduction of this chapter, I agree with the authors’ example. One example is that parents are more interested in their child’s intelligence. This example is accepted by most of the parents. As well, most of these parents are forgetting the importance of developing social and emotional skills. In some of these cases the parents do not know the following information: How do social skills develop? Who are emotional beings? How can we help children to have good relationships with others?
How do social skills develop? The authors of the book respond to this question by giving interesting suggestions about how most of the parents erroneously believe that this skill is acquired. One suggestion is that parents believe that social skills do not need to be learned, because it just happens. Moreover, I learned in this chapter, that social skills also need to be taught. Children acquire social skills by observing and imitating their parents. As well, they learn from social interactions with others in life. I think that this idea is reflected in toddlers. For example, one day my two year old cousin Melisa was playing with her cell phone, and then she started screaming and yelling at it. This action reflected the social behavior of her mom screaming and yelling on the phone. So children at a young age learn from their parents how to treat others and how to treat themselves. What Melisa was doing was imitating her mom, and the way that she resolved the conflict. Melisa had learned that arguing was a way to solve a problem.
The authors talk about emotional well-being and the importance of recognizing emotions. One example of emotional beings is empathy. I was surprised to know that babies shared emotions, and it is the first sign of empathy. As the authors describe, “Babies can become aware of the emotions of others and feel the other’s emotions vicariously” (p.185). This amazed me because it makes me think about how humans need empathy in order to consider and respect the feelings of others.
Having a secure attachment helps children to have good relationships with their peers. However, how can parents provide a secure attachment? I think it is something easy to do and follow. The authors suggest that consistence and responsiveness to their children needs are essential tools to build a good attachment with others. Furthermore, it is necessary that parents are consistent with their children from the beginning of their life.
On the other hand, it is true that in our society most of the kids spend less time with their parents and more time in a day care. So what the authors suggest in this case is that parents should choose a good day care that can provide high quality care. High quality care happens when the caregivers are aware of the child’s feelings. I know that this is an important aspect. In the day care where I used to work, we focused on behaviors. For example, Matt was a child who was typically in a good mood and showed empathy for the other kids. However, Matt’s behavior changed dramatically when he did not spend time with his mom or grandpa, his primary caregivers. For example, he would behave aggressively by hitting and slapping other kids. Since this behavior was abnormal for him, it did not seem to be him at that moment. The teacher found out what was happening to Matt, and she had the opportunity to talk to his mother, and let her know that Matt needs more physical attention.
In conclusion, this chapter shows again the importance of social skills and emotional well-being. As well, the authors encourage parents to stop worrying about having advanced children because they should focus more on other social skills that are also necessary and important. After reading the chapter, it made me think about the common parental ideology that intelligence is the only thing that matters. Moreover, it is essential for each individual to acquire emotional well-being.
The pictures you selected are great, Susana, and a nice compliment to your points about emotional well-being and empathy. Your nephews look to be playing together very effectively. Ironically, having conflict with each other will help them, too, as they'll learn to work through it together, rather than with someone leading them like an adult would.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you that socialization is important for kids. Kids learn so much through observing and playing with others. Also, they learn what is socially acceptable from being around their peers. I also think empathy is very important. However, I fear most parents don’t see it that way. Kids can develop a sense of empathy by being around other kids. Again, they learn what’s appropriate and what’s not. I really enjoyed reading your blog. I thought this chapter was very insightful. Also, I loved your pictures!
ReplyDelete~ Caitlin Stiglich
It is crazy to me that the norm for the world today is for children to spend more time at a day care than with their parents. Call me old fashioned, but I feel that it is essential for a child to have their primary caregiver be around them often. Due to the fact that socialization is so important in a child’s development, caregivers should be aware of the responsibility of constantly displaying a positive example. It is important for children to have a positive social example in their life to imitate desirable behaviors. This allows them to know how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner instead of imitating unhealthy behaviors.
ReplyDeleteKylie Riddle
Susana, I completely agree with you. I used to work at an in-home daycare and later, at a daycare center. Both were VERY different. At the in-home daycare, we were more aware of the emotions of our kids, as well as focused on helping them be more social. At the daycare center, we were told to make sure the children behaved; if they didn’t, they would go to the office. If a child was emotionally distraught, our boss would see it as, “he’s a bad kid,” “he’s spoiled,” etc. I worked there during my Freshman and Sophomore years in college and was learning so much about emotions and the way children behave when emotions are running high at the time, so I knew it wasn’t because “he was a bad kid.” I would speak to them about their behavior, but also indirectly ask why they were acting in such a way. Many times, I would find out it was because of something going on a at home, etc. Something else I would see is that children, who attend daycare for the first time, tend to be very shy and off to the side. I would have the other children engage with them and include them in their games. I would be involved as well, even though my boss did not find it professional. I knew the child needed a model to see how people engage in a new setting, so I, and the class, helped her. In less than 2 weeks, she was talkative and was socializing with everyone in the class. Social skills are learned through imitation, not through innate instincts.
ReplyDelete~Maggie Villatoro
I think that social skills are crucial in a child’s development and completely agree with what the author has to say! I feel like parents focus too much attention on a child’s educational intelligence and often times neglect a child’s social intellect. I don’t think parents understand that children pick up everything from their surroundings, and that most of their learning occurs in the earlier stages of development. I am really curious as to what a child may be learning and experiencing in a mother’s womb. It would be interesting to find if any recent studies have been conducted in the area of behavior.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me how many children go to day care, instead of spending time with their parents. The time spent with their parents is very critical. There are kids where I work that I know don't get enough time to spend with their parents. When I was little I was with my parents, and if I wasn't with my parents I was with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. It's sad kids now don't have that, but some people may not have any family around them to watch their children. I do agree that socialization is important in development.
ReplyDelete~Alex Jensen
Children in today's society here in the United States spend way too much time in day care systems and I am happy that you made this point. Parents do not realize how important interacting with their children is and how everything a parent does can and will influence the social behaviors in their children. I loved your example with your cousin yelling into the phone. This is a perfect example of socialization at its finest! Children learn through example and observation, shaping them to become socialized within the culture. I also like how you mentioned babies having empathy towards others. Have you ever noticed how when one baby cries another cries, and then another one, and so on? This is an example of how babies show empathy for others, who would have thought! You made some very fine, interesting, and important points in this blog. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteMorgan Miguel
I also agree with the author’s example that parents are more interested in their child’s intelligence. Parents as well as early childhood educators are forgetting the importance of developing social and emotional skills. Some of these skills include coping, sharing, and following social norms. I also believe that it is very important for parents to think about and answer those three questions.
ReplyDeleteAt my preschool site we do not fully focus on teaching children their numbers, ABC’s, or colors. Our main focus is getting the children ready to learn. We teach them social and emotional skills, and this prepares them to lean in later years.
Allyson Loucks
I feel that teachers and parents should focus on teaching and building social and emotional skills the first 7-8 years of the child's life. It seems that in the early elementary school years, children are pushed to achieve higher learning which pushes social-emotional skills aside. I truly believe the reason there are so many young adults in our prison systems is because social-emotional skills are no longer focused on in school. If the child does not learn social-emotional skills at home, then they do not learn them at all. This ends up creating individuals who have oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder and antisocial personalities. Overall, I feel a child that has well developed social-emotional skills will be much more prepared to conquer the adult world and be able to be more successful in contributing to society.
ReplyDeleteAmy Wilson
Your blog made me laugh, thinking about the way children imitate what they see, the good and bad. It is cute when we see the little ones around us imitate the good things we do, not so much the bad. I think it is very beneficial the way you indicate that social skills need to be taught, even though children can learn a lot on their own. When talking about emotions we all express them differently which I think should be allowed freely with no gender barriers. The example you gave about Matt made me think of it as an attachment interruption that caused a crying out for attention. I think that was very important for emotional well-being because it shows how children express their feeling in actions.b-moutra
ReplyDeleteI agree with Susana’s stand on parents focusing on the children’s intelligence rather than on their social and emotional development. I believe that parents should focus more on the children’s social and emotional development because it does not only set the foundations for future relationships but it plays an important role in their children’s intelligence and school performance. For instance, children tend to imitate parents’ social behavior and their social development is based upon their interaction with adults. However, many children tend to learn negative social skills at home and such skills seem to be reflected in their school performance. As an after school tutor, I have been in contact with kids with negative behavior that has interfered with their school performance. These kids are not willing to do their homework and it takes them a while to finish their work. It is my belief that these children have been raised in a chaotic environment and their performance depicts it. For example, some kids actually have complained about their parents, for instance, they are always saying, “That’s how my dad says it”. Therefore, if parents what their children to have good social development and school performance, they should be more careful with their behavior when they are around them.
ReplyDeleteBelinda Gutierrez Ornelas